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The Listening Leadership Talk

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Summary: The Leadership Talk is an important tool for leaders of

all ranks and functions. But some of the most effective

Leadership Talks are not what leaders say but what the people

they lead say. Here are three ways to give what is often the

best kind of Leadership Talk, the Listening Leadership Talk.

The Listening Leadership Talk by Brent Filson

For more than 20 years, I have taught the Leadership Talk to

thousands of people worldwide. And maybe the most important

thing I've taught isn't about talking -- at least the leader's

talking.

I've taught there is a hierarchy of verbal persuasion. The

lowest levels, the least effective, are speeches and

presentations. The highest levels, the most effective, are

Leadership Talks.

I've taught that speeches/presentations communicate information;

Leadership Talks, on the other hand, have leaders establish

deep, human, emotional connections with audiences --

indispensable in achieving great results.

Of course, the Leadership Talk is by definition about talking.

But often there's a more effective dynamic to employ: listening.

Not passive listening -- but listening for one purpose, so the

other person gives you your Leadership Talk.

After all, it's not what you say that's important in a

Leadership Talk but what your audience does after you have had

your say.

And if they do the best thing not after you speak but after you

listen, then you have given one of the most effective Leadership

Talks of all -- a Listening Leadership Talk.

The Listening Leadership Talk focuses on what other people are

invariably interested in, themselves. (Who isn't interested when

they themselves are talking?) But here's the key: their simply

talking is useless to your leadership. It is only useful when

their talk is the talk you need for them to give.

Moving people from talking their talk to talking your talk --

and ultimately walking your walk --is the art of the Listening

Leadership Talk. Here are a few tips to make it happen.

(1) Use question marks. Asking questions encourages people to

reflect upon and talk about the challenge you face. After all,

we can't motivate anyone to do anything. They have to motivate

themselves. And they best motivate themselves when they reflect

on their character and their situation and are also given the

opportunity to talk about their reflections.

You may not like what they say; but often their answer is better

in terms of advancing their motivation and your results than

your full-stop sentence.

Furthermore, their answer may prompt them to think they have

come up with a good idea. People tend to be less enamored of

your ideas than they are of their own.

However, be aware of the difference between asking a question of

somebody and questioning them. When asking a question, you

communicate you're interested in the answer the person wants;

when questioning, you communicate you're interested in the

answer you want. And if the people you are interacting with

think you are there not for them but for yourself, you damage

the environment a Listening Leadership Talk can thrive in. (2)

Create a critical convergence. This will help you avoid the

"herding cats" syndrome. Once you get people talking, they may

be all over the map, talking about everything but what you want

to have talked about.

Keep things on track by establishing a critical convergence, the

joining of your enthusiasms and theirs so they're as

enthusiastic as you about meeting the challenges you face. Do

that by understanding their needs as problems and seeking to

have them voice solutions to those problems, solutions that

advance your leadership concerns.

For instance, at a police academy classroom, the instructor

passed a note to one of the recruits. It read, "CLEAR THIS

CLASSROOM OUT NOW!" The recruit started shouting, "Everybody out

of the room!" People looked confused. A few left. The remainder

stayed. The instructor gave the note to another recruit, who

pleaded, "Please, everybody out." Still, people remained there.

Then the instructor gave a note to a third recruit, who

developed a Listening Leadership talk by creating a critical

convergence. He asked, "What time is it?" "Quarter to twelve,"

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someone answered. The recruit with the note simply shrugged and

in the silence, let the idea emerge. "Lunch break!" the recruits

called in unison and quickly cleared the room. Creating a

critical convergence establishes and environment in which the

Listening Leadership flourishes.

(3) Develop a Leadership Contract. This may be written -- from a

few ideas scribbled on a scrap of paper to a more formal typed

version calling for your signatures -- or the Contract may

simply be an oral agreement, sealed with a handshake. Clearly,

it's not a legal instrument -- nor should it embody legalese.

It's just a spelling out of the leadership actions you both

agree must be taken to accomplish your goal.

Here's the key: The best way to get that agreement is first to

have them talk about actions they propose to take. Make sure

they describe precise, physical actions. And not just any

actions but leadership actions. Discourage them from talking

about how they'll be doing tasks. Instead, encourage them to

talk about how they'll be taking leadership of those tasks.

(There is a big difference in terms of results generated between

doing and leading.) Then ask how they need to be supported in

those actions. Finally, ask them how those actions should be

monitored and evaluated. In getting answers to these questions,

you'll be putting together a Leadership Contract by giving a

Listening Leadership Talk.

The Leadership Talk is the greatest leadership tool. But the

tool has its gradations of effectiveness. Often your talking is

not as effective as your audience's talking. When your

Leadership Talk comes out of their mouths, not your mouth, you

may find you are raising your leadership effectiveness to much

higher levels.

2005 © The Filson Leadership Group, Inc. All rights reserved.

About the author:

The author of 23 books, Brent Filson's recent books are, THE

LEADERSHIP TALK: THE GREATEST LEADERSHIP TOOL and 101 WAYS TO

GIVE GREAT LEADERSHIP TALKS. He is founder and president of The

Filson Leadership Group, Inc. - and for more than 20 years has

been helping leaders of top companies worldwide get audacious

results. Sign up for his free leadership e-zine and get a free

white paper: "49 Ways To Turn Action Into Results," at ht